The New Workout Plan

In the words of the oh so humble Mr. Kanye West himself:
That's right put in work, move your ass, go wizzerk
Eat your salad, no dessert...

If it were only that easy. Last year was the most fit year of my life thanks to the fact that I was getting married. I don't know what it is about getting married, but almost every bride decides shortly after getting engaged that she is going to look amazing at her wedding. So after getting engaged I got on the wedding workout plan. I had a personal trainer while living in Austin who put me on the worst/best diet ever. Worst because my meal choices were so limited...best because it actually worked.

While in McAllen my personal trainer was Big Martha (aka my mom). This woman is a workout feign. Her usual routine consists of exercising 2 hours a day...who was time for that? Well when you are a full-time bride who's biggest concerns are things like how much sushi to serve at the cocktail hour trust me you have time (can I go back to full time wedding planning please?). We did an hour of zumba (love) and an hour of pilates (even more love) everyday. So when I moved to Dallas after Lucas and I got married I was on a health kick and needed my fill of excercise but didn't know where to go. Then I found Beyond Pilates. I started going to Beyond Pilates last August and have been going ever since then. Best. Workout. Ever.

So in January when Beyond Pilates opened an indoor cycling studio called Beyond Pedaling in Snider Plaza I decided that I would try it. Surely I would love it as much as their pilates studio? wrong. I have a love/hate relationship with this place. Thanks to law school my workout time had been significantly reduced and consisted of only my daily 30 minute walks with Lilly and pilates 2-3 times a week. No cardio. I decided that if I was going to try out this class I obvi had to have the right gear. So I headed over to REI and purchased some sexy spin shorts (not actually sexy...its like wearing a diaper but it will save your ass. literally.) and some special cycling socks. I felt like I was ready to tackle this class head on.

So I show up looking like a pro who regularly attends spin class, hop on a bike, and get ready for class to start. In walks Berti (the instructor) and gets class started. At first it wasn't too bad...then shiz hit the fan quickly. Next thing I know we are climbing at gear 20, Berti is yelling "let's get this shit baby," and I feel like I am having a heart attack. I thought to myself I need to get off this bike before I throw up all over the girl next to me. So I hop off and cooly jog to the door that leads to the hallway where the bathrooms are making it seem as though I was taking a quick break to pee. I couldn't actually show that I wasn't feeling well...I was wearing spin shorts and cycle socks...I looked like a regular. What a poser. Well as soon as I got out of the room and into the hallway I sprinted to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and my face was the same color as the bottom of a pair of Christian Louboutin heels. I took a breather, composed myself, and started to walk back to the room. Once I was at the door I started to jog back to my bike. omg who am I kidding I still felt awful. That is not the worst of it.

So all the bikes in the studio are connected to a computer system which tracks each individual's RPMS, Watts, and worst of all: ranking compared to everyone in the class. A screen with all this information comes up periodically throughout the class at the front of the studio for eveyone to see. It is supposed to be motivational...more like mortifying. Thank God you are only listed by your bike number and not by name. So after I am back on my bike after thinking I was having a heart attack and still feeling like crap up comes the progress screen. Shoot. There are only 17 people in class and bike #15 is in 16th place. Omg I am on bike 15. I am in 2nd to last place. Obvi I had to scope out who was on the bike in last place. Turns out the person on the bike in last place was a middle-aged, overweight man. How could this be? I am in my early 20's and all these people are beating me and the middle-aged, overweight man is right on my tail. Needless to say it kept me motivated to get through the rest of the class so I guess it does work. I survived.

Now I regularly go to Beyond Pedaling as well as Beyond Pilates and love it. Everyone should check out Beyond Pedaling. My only pieces of advice are not go to Berti's class if it is your first time, invest in some spin shorts they are life savers, and be in some kind of cardio shape before you go unlike me.

Shout out to Hannah and Kevin who got engaged this past weekend! So excited for their wedding and for Hansy to join the Latin Wives Club. Current members: me. But hopefully there are more to come.

Key players:
Big Martha- my mom got her nickname from one of my sister's friends a few years ago and it stuck. Why Big Martha? because she is a small woman with a LOT of personality. My dad even goes by Big Pat now because of it. They want their grandchildren to call them Big Pat and Big Martha. Idk. I get told I look and act a lot like her so I hope that is a good thing. love me some Big Martha.

Hannah- Only one word to describe Hannah: bah. She has the kindest soul and not a care in the world. When I am around her I get the urge to say "that totally rocks" about everything, and her happiness is contagious. Love her and I am so happy she has found the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with.